Divining Your Tech World: Ask CyberGod

Q: I’m having trouble with my recycle bin. It seems to work okay, but the icon is a generic data file.

A: If you have not had your C drive blessed lately, there’s a good chance your soul is corrupted. First, upgrade to the latest servicepack and restart so that your operating system may be born again. Then navigate to My Computer/Soul/Folder/Options and select View. Choose the “reveal unto thee” option.

Q: My operating system often shuts down and has to recheck all its sectors before booting back up. Can that be fixed?

A: Repeated memory dump of past sins can leave your file structure unstable. For the operating system to function properly, each sin of the past must have a mime type associated with the appropriate helper confession. To reassociate your sin/confession database run regedit from the start menu. Navigate to HKEY_CURRENT CONFIG/System/CurrentControl Set/Denial_Atonement. In the right pane you will see Attach.sin_forgiveness. Remove the 666 from the hex value and restart.

Q: I would like to incorporate the processor from one computer into another. Is this possible?

A: You must first ascertain if you are attempting to literally or symbolically infuse the essence of one processor into another, for instance, a Pentium into an AMD. Dogmatically, literal processor transubtantiation would require a miracle, which would demand that you first believe miracles are possible. Should your faith suffice, you may transubtantiate processors by performing the correct rituals, though physical accidents of each processor may remain. Should you favor the symbolic route, follow the less stringent rituals of consubtantiating processors by removing the label from one and adding it to the other. Be sure to add a second cooling fan and be aware that these actions may void your warranty. Good luck!